BIG DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN BETTER AND SOMETIMES LESS IS MORE.

It’s a rather personal experience and I have battled with the urge not to share it but I think a part of me believes this will teach some mothers (especially the young ones and first timers) a few things about child nutrition. Dare I say that it’s actually contrary to what you’d be taught in antenatal classes and motherhood groups.  I have to warn that you may want to skip this post if you’re a lazy about reading because this promises to be a very long Post.

How do I even start? Times like this, the right words elude me. Straight to the point, when I had my first daughter Olanma (God bless her), I had a caesarean birth, for some reason the breast milk didn’t flow, being a first timer I didn’t know I was supposed to keep her on the nipples to stimulate the flow (something ones mother would have taught her). Also, due to the pains and discomfort associated with the healing process I didn’t even try, until the health visitor came home after like 4-5 days and then I told her I wasn’t still lactating. She was shocked and told me to always keep her on the nipple. By this time my daughter was already used to formula feeding, the implication was that the effort to get her to breastfeed was fussier than bliss. She was frustrated, I was frustrated as I felt there was something in my breast that made her cry rather than find succor. I nearly went into depression (safe for the wonderful post natal care I received) as I wondered why someone as BUSTY as I am could not properly nurse a child. Little did I know that when it comes to breast milk, big isn’t always better and size doesn’t even matter.  To cut the long story short, we decided to do a mix feeding for as long as was necessary and she was perfectly healthy.

Because of that experience, I made up my mind I was going to start early and also exclusively breastfeed my next child until at least six months. Along the line Kerenma came, From the moment she was handed over to me, I started breastfeeding her, the milk supply was still poor but I was excited she wasn’t fussy and anticipated a time that the flow will improve and my little bundle of joy will start getting chubby like the healthy kids I have seen exclusively breastfed.

First four days, it was like a prayer answered, she added a few grams and I was overjoyed, but that Joy was short-lived as I continued to observe that  she doesn’t ever get full, sometimes she sleeps off while nursing and wakes up the next few minutes. I practically spent the whole day and night nursing but she wasn’t thriving as much as expected.

We started meeting with lactation consultants, whose professional advice was that baby latches on well, I on my part was doing okay, generally the technique was superb. My breast was examined and found to be fine too. So what the heck was the problem?  Having been satisfied okay, we returned to Nigeria. Three to four months gone yet she hadn’t doubled her birth weight (see first photo).

Frequent trips to the hospitals and series of test revealed that she was severely anemic. How could that be? Her parent’s genotypes were compatible.

 The pediatrician also shared the same concern about her weight, relations and older friends told me she had “NTA” ( a local parlance which means failure to thrive) and/or NTIWA ISI (sunken skull) as the symptoms are characterized by failure to thrive (see 1st photo).  All sorts of suggestions were made as to how to access treatment. If you’re not strong willed, this kind of news will make you forget the many lessons you’ve ever been taught, and whatever the doctors must have told you is thrown into the garbage in desperate search for solution. This is desperation does not mean you’re stupid, it just goes to show the extent to which parents to go to protect their children.  I am not going to swank here that I didn’t fall for this, in fact, I fell for it with my neck deep inside, my only luck was that I have a husband who is well read, exposed and strong willed who insisted that I must not take his child to anywhere other than a hospital neither will I administer any concoction in the name of herbal treatment for NTA.  

Tele-consultation with her doctor oversea suggested that she wasn’t just getting enough from the breast milk (BM). This ushered in another set of roller costar of emotions.

What was the problem with me? Why can’t this BIG BREAST of mine just give enough nutrients to my child? At least she was willing why can’t I just feed her enough? In frantic desperation for improvement and against the popular sermon in the antenatal class about how great exclusive breastfeeding  is we switched her to mix feeding and within two days you could see the chubby cheeks, in less than a week she doubled her birth weight (second photo), the next time we went to see her doctor he couldn’t hide his surprise, he was so stunned at her transformation. We told him we switched her to mix feeding as advised.

She just turned nine months old in this photo but already so  big she couldn't fit into her cloth size. (It’s not like fat is the yardstick for measuring good health,  but coming from someone that has had slim and chubby baby  you’d agree with me that chubby and healthy looking babies are more attractive). It gives the parents a sense of reward for the plenty sleep deprivations.

I am not a nutrition specialist and I can’t claim I know half as much as I’d love to know but I want to state that this experience has taught me that when it comes to breastfeeding and milk supply, size is irrelevant and big doesn’t necessarily mean better. In fact, less could be more. Always get a second opinion by seeing different specialist on the same issue. The importance of prayers can’t be denied but there are times that all you need is to take action or to channel the prayer to being directed to the person that have solution to your problem.  Always remember, that your emotions and the love you have for your child should not cloud your sense of reasoning and push you to stupidity.